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About Me

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Duluth, Minnesota, United States
Well, I am me.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Music Intended to Heal

 What will I write about? We will see. Life in the world about me seems to be suffering. I feel pretty well inside of me. Pretty good inside. But the body has pains, sometimes more so than at other times. The outside world affects my body. It would seem to be so. There is the saying, “the world is as you are”. Can I allieviate the suffering that affects me from the outside by being otherwise?


It seems I have to act upon the world in a more healing way.


I think I must play and otherwise make music to heal the world. 

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

A Post


Don’t try to win: play only. Is it a game? A sport? Disport Thyself. Destroy not thine enemy: love him into submission. Into surrender to that King or Queen of Play, of Sport. Do you like to play? To win is not possible—we only can act. We could play or we could strain. Why would we strain?—I don’t know. I think that for everyone, there must needs come a time when he must come upon the possibility of divinity, or Divinity—Godliness. Why would one continue endlessly?—for money?—(Mammon)? I don’t think anyone will. For love or money. Will I agree to restore those four or six chair seats I’ve been contacted about? Certainly not for money. For that which I want that money could buy? For love?—for love of what or whom? Should the chairs be restored?—are they of value to God? Do I want to be recognized as a valid writer?—as talented, beautiful, sweet, desirable—or as smart, or okay? Well, it might be fun to be popular. Anything is possible. I could be popular. What would be necessary? Would that be trying to win? Writing has been play. At least as regards other humans. And me. I don’t know how to succeed at anything except by doing it. I try to play basketball—did today. Not with others but by myself, shooting and dribbling. It was the one sport I couldn’t do well. Small hands, but what else could be involved? Sleight upper-body build. I tried using old-fashioned techniques. Of shooting with both hands, under-handed, and from behind the head with both hands. They overcome my weaknesses. I’m doing things lately that I hadn’t done for years and years. Looking for ways and means that work—that I hadn’t used before, to do them better than my ever before. Why wasn’t I able to work? Did I just have to heal? Rest? The emerald, golden ring improves my mind—it really does. Mercury, Budh. Propitiates Him it would seem. I chose not to buy the home occupation permit today. It does seem to be a racket. I guess I’ll have to change my address with the state for my sales and use tax thing. See what happens then. If I don’t do any business at home, the city can’t require me to buy the permit. Not receive any phone calls at home. For work. I still don’t want to pay income tax. I don’t believe it is constitutional—that the amendment was ratified. So evasion would be righteous. Right action. We all have to die someday anyway. What the hell!? Society has always persecuted the innocent I have been told. That’s just the way it is. Don’t do anything you don’t want to. It would be a SIN.

Why am I doing archery at the U.? For fun. But I don’t ever play. I am a serious person. I played a little bit when I was playing basketball last week. Fun. Doing something well. Artistically. Artistic archery. Do it for the love of it. So, if I love, I excel, huh? But I can’t love by trying to do so—by trying to love. Why? Yes, why? So what is love? Love is something. It must be existence itself. So if I try to love, I’m complicating life. Interfering in the natural flow of being. So what does that mean? Don’t I want to share? But it’s impossible to give if there is no receptivity where I want my love to go. But love is transcendental. So why can’t I give even if the other doesn’t want to receive? If I am love, then no-one can resist, because each of us is love. So that’s why I can’t give love. Because I am love. Is there anything else to say about that? I don’t know.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

"As ye sow, so also shall ye reap."

There is a lot of time to do things. But is there also the energy at the time the time is available? And the feeling to do a productive thing? And is it worthwhile to do that thing?

One has to take the long view. And one has to consider what one really wants to do. Of course, one has to consider what one has to do, too. If one has to do anything at the time.

I like to write a lot. I like it a lot. I like to do art, too. But writing is so smooth.

I am a philosopher. And an artist, at least in my estimation. And I think my estimation will be society's estimation. Mankind's.

I think the reason I haven't sold anything is that it will be useful for mankind to have all my work together. Not scattered. It is ahead of its time. And later it will be all together and available.

Is there any value for me in this? As our Teacher told us, "Creativity is the anti-dote to stress". There is stress in collective consciousness, and creativity is my way to deal with it. To deal with the poison of it (the stress). My consciousness is affected by the collective consciousness it seems.

I think that the more evolved one is, the more responsible one becomes for the collective consciousness. One has to deal with it directly (the collective consciousness). One takes on others' karma. One helps others to deal with the results of their past actions.

It seems to me now, that our Teacher said that we aren't to take on others' karma. I'm trying to remember the context of that. Something like,"We help others, but we don't take on their karma".

That's a good question, can one take on another's karma. And is it wise?

I've been told, "You should always be giving". But if someone owes us something, shouldn't we ask for it?

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap." Is reaping in this analogy an action we must do? In order to receive the fruits of our labors (or actions)? In business, one provides a service and presents a bill. One would receive the result of one's service anyway, even if one didn't provide a bill to the client. "For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction." Something goes from us and an equal something comes to us. But if we don't present a statement, the client is not bound to pay us, at least not by social law.

Is it wrong not to present a bill (statement of what was given and of what is to be given in return)? In other words, should we always be giving, and never asking?

The Vedic Tradition tells us that there is a state of Liberation. That it can be gained during one's lifetime and enjoyed on Earth and forever after. And that the liberated (or Enlightened) man accepts whatever comes unasked. But that doesn't answer the question of whether or not we should ask for anything.

Is it wrong to ask for anything, at least for a Liberated man? A liberated man doesn't need anything, he doesn't depend upon anything from anyone else. His Self is the Self of all others, which is true for all of us. But the realized man knows this by direct experience.

The non-realized are weak, helpless, like children. The realized man should help them to grow up right. He has a parental role to the non-realized.

If a child has wronged his parent, is it the parent's duty to tell the child this? Can the child correct the wrong he has done? Even if not so, is it helpful for the child to know he has wronged his parent? Even if he can correct it, is it helpful for the child to be asked to correct the wrong he has done to his parent? How can the child correct the wrong to the parent?

It is the child's dharma (duty) to learn, and to entertain his elders. That's what one man told a group of people including me.

I wasn't very entertaining. At least I don't remember trying to be entertaining for my elders. We can't love by trying to love. And we can't entertain by trying to entertain. If a stand-up comic tries to entertain, he will not be spontaneous and natural. So also with a musician or a writer. Certainly he wants to entertain, to give; but he can only do so by giving himself completely to the task at hand. Not by thinking about being entertaining.

Have I wronged my parents? Has any child wronged his parents? "Judge not, and be not judged."

Has any parent wronged his child? The Vedic Tradition states that, "The course of action is unfathomable". But if he has, he will suffer the consequences. "The laws of nature cannot be deceived." And they are invincible.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

"...all appears to be dark." I am 66 years old, but it might be that I need to work. Just enough--two hours a day. I didn't want to move to this town. But I couldn't find an apartment in Minnesota, and I had no money for a motel. I had the means (a car and a pre-paid gasoline card) to get to this town where I lived from 1988 to 2002. I had heard that there were often vacancies in the apartment building I lived in for ten years in this town before. And a Facebook acquaintance who lives in this town said I could sleep on his couch until I found an apartment. That didn't pan out after I arrived. But I moved into this apartment ten days after I arrived. I survived in the meantime. This town is no place for my craft of chair seat re-weaving, caning. No work. So I need something to do of a concentrated nature five days a week; caning can't be it; it could in California where I lived for twelve years. And it could in Minnesota where I lived. At least furniture refinishing could, when I had a place there to do it. I think caning could provide me with two hours of work a day in Minnesota. Not here. When I was in Minnesota last, March 2016 to April 2017, I spent a lot of time providing services to my mother.

I could paint art here, but I use water soluble oil colors; and they give off fumes. They dry over a period of days, and I can't have windows open all that time. I could ask for work from a man here--in his law office. I could try to find out if there is a personnel office at the university in this town. 

Thursday, March 29, 2018

"Iturbia" by Tim Tolzmann (no longer available)

"Iturbia" by Tim Tolzmann
water soluble oils on oak plywood
18"x24"
frame 20&3/8"x26&1/2"
US$415 plus cost to ship

Should I seek employment (not self-employment)? Self-employment doesn't seem to be an option for me in this locale.

I may have to do something momentous. Maybe more than one thing. Something out of the ordinary. Something like which I haven't done for some time. I'm shrinking from it. I don't know if it's for the best, or even for the good. If that's the case, then it is only right to hesitate. I'm not sure if I'm afraid to do it. I don't know that I want to do it. I don't know if I have to do it. But it appears to be on the horizon. I will see if it approaches.

"Take it easy; take it as it comes." If it comes, I'll take it easily--in an easy fashion (manner). I'll engage it in an easy way.

There. There's no problem or thing to worry about or over. If I want to do it, I will. If I want to and have to do it, I will. Until I know that I want to and have to do it, I won't try to do it. It would be foolish and positively harmful to. It would be out of time and place. I heard that evil is that which is out of place or time, inappropriate. "There is a time significant for every step in love." I want to do everything I do in love (in a loving manner). "Life is progressive on the steps of love." "Love is life, and certainly we don't want to step out of life."

I want to act in a graceful manner.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Writing, Happiness, and the TM Technique

When I want to write, I stop and start to write. I start. It's not hard. And it's not hard to keep going. It's fun to write. Do you think it's hard? Why don't you try? Just let yourself settle inside and start. Keep on. Is there anything that can be thought about, and considered, and explained better than it has been before? I like to think on paper. There is not enough happiness in collective consciousness. How can more be added to it? What is happiness, and where does it come from? Is it created out of nothing? Is it an illusion? As a practicer of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's Transcendental Meditation technique, happiness has increased in my life. In my inner and outer life. I feel better inside, and my environment is more supportive of my being happy than before I learned the TM technique. The means of happiness, what are they? Anything that helps one be happy. TM meditators can be happy anytime they want. Because TM gives direct access to an unlimited amount of happiness. Here's an analogy, or perhaps more precisely, a metaphor and/or simile. How can a tree have enough moisture? It can draw sap into itself via the root. With it's root. A meditator can draw in happiness with his mind. The question arises, why would one be low on happiness? Is there any obstacle to being happy? Perhaps the simple notion that one can be happy reveals how to be happy. And what happiness is, too. Do we have to do anything to be? To exist? Descartes is quoted as having said or written, "I think, therefore I am". Does that mean we have to think in order to exist? If we don't do anything, if we don't act, we will die, I think. We act, we perform action. Have you ever had a thought? What does it mean to think? Can we think? Do you think? I think I think. And I think I exist. What am I? Harold Waldwin Percival, in his book Thinking and Destiny, described a Doer, a Thinker, and a Knower. I think he wrote that they make up, constitute, a Triune Self. Do we each have these three parts: a Doer, a Thinker, and a Knower? Or are they all one? To get back to happiness for a minute, how can a meditator (TM meditator) be happy? Realization. There is no obstacle. "You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to." By Roger Miller. I'm told some people don't believe that there is any such reality as (a) mind. Practice Maharishi's Transcendental Meditation technique (learn the technique from a Certified Transcendental Meditation Teacher). Then it is self-evident. Self-evident. When a "human" body dies, does the mind die? I'm going to take some time now to practice the TM technique. It is 5:09 PM PDT now. Saturday, March 28, 2015.